In-law Horror Stories

I've been married and have had enough steady relationships to become acquainted (usually unfortunately) with my SO's parents. It's an undeniable fact that I have some horror stories.

Anyone who has been married or engaged, or have siblings or close friends who are married, you have horror stories. Bet someone out there has parents who don't get along with your grandparents.

Your in-law horror stories. I wanna hear 'em. You can keep them anonymous by avoiding names and personal pronouns, if you want. Or you can just bear it all. Makes no difference to me, just tell it like it is and don't bash anyone involved.

I'll go first.

Mere weeks before I walked down the aisle, my ex's maternal gma called my FIL and insisted that he stop the wedding. She would not have her perfect grandson marrying a filthy whore. (Implied, because she's a good Christian lady and would never call someone a whore, but all the sentiments were there.) She kept going on and on, and poor FIL just listened patiently. Finally he said, "Okay, you don't like her. I get it. What's the real problem?" She replied, exact words, "She doesn't believe in birth control!" Stunned, FIL got off the phone. Shortly thereafter, he laughed. (Yeah. He's a slow southern type, and I'm talking leisurely, not retarded.) He told my ex what she said, and he repeated it to me. My response, "And just how did she surmise that I'm Catholic?"

That woman was the bane of my existence the entire time I was married. God love her, because I tried and failed. She held me in such contempt and not only had nothing good to say about me behind my back, but wasn't bothered to say anything nice to my face, either. Condescending doesn't even begin to touch it. But to everyone else, she really is a sweet lady and despite her less than favorable treatment of me, I still have a high respect for her. Just don't get why she had to be so damn mean to me!

Unless you've ever seen your MIL & SIL wrestling on the ground in the middle of a gravel road in front of your house before seven in the morning when it's 27 degrees outside and your SIL is wearing shorts and wielding an ax she's carried a quarter mile down the road to use to kill the puppies your dog has just given birth to that live just outside your four year old daughter's bedroom window because your dog got knocked up by "raping" her dog, I've got you beat.

That is pretty crazy. You probably do have me beat, but I've got tons of 'em. I'm sure there are some good ones. Here, have a worrisome would-have-been MIL:

My ex's mom came to stay with us for a week last year. At the time, I was working 60 hours a week. She decided to clean my house while I was at work. I really appreciated it and told her as much, but insisted that she shouldn't since she was a guest. Then she started buying little things for the house. Things she felt we needed. They were tacky and, although useful, not quite so appreciated. By day four, I came home to find everything in my kitchen rearranged so that it made "more sense." Then she started rearranging my living room furniture.

I'll put it this way: I can hardly stand to be in the same room with my mom for 3 hours sometimes, but when she left after staying with me for two weeks, I didn't feel the sense of relief that I did when his mom left after only one week.

Additionally, when the ex and I broke things off, she tried to start all kinds of drama, emailing me 3+ times a day, saying she knows I cheated (which I didn't and HE knows I didn't) and was threatening to turn off my cell phone. Two weeks of incessant droning and whining, but he finally got her to leave me alone when he told her that she WOULD keep my phone on because I co-signed for his car. I'd say that's fair, yes?

sorry I like my in-laws so no horror stories

You'll probably eventually have one. Something so crazy or bizarre that you can't believe it happened. And besides, if you don't have a story, why did you post in this thread? off topic fail.

no off topic would be me telling the story of of
NOT INTERESTID!!!!!!!
my post was on topic I just don't have anything to horible to tell I mean the closest thing I have to a in-law horror story is that every time I try to sit next to Becky my DIL (Dog-in-law) insists on sitting on me and thats accualy kinda cute except that she ways 80 lbs. and is as jitery as a hyper active gold fish and has a tendincy to step on my balls

I never ever want to hear anything about your balls again, Dorkboy! Ewwwwww!

My in-laws are their own kind of crazy as Mistress Twilight would say.

My first inkling was when my hubby & I were dating & his sister told me she has to have her own soap in the shower so she doesn't get pregnant using the same bar of soap her brothers used. Ewwww...and Huh?! What exactly are they doing with that soap?!

Then there's the time my SIL threw a glass bowl full of mashed potatoes at her mom, dad, and me followed by an odd attempt to hurl milk at us out of a gallon jug. When that didn't work, she dumped it on the floor instead. The entire time she was screaming at her mother to go outside & tell my husband to "F**k off," because her other brother said something she didn't like.

I guess I should clarify that my SIL was in a serious car accident 3 months after we were married. She was borderline crazy before, but the head trauma from the accident made her completely psycho!! And trust me when I say this is not me making fun of the mentaly ill. She knows how to behave semi-normally. She just refuses at times.

That's pretty rough. Wow. And seriously? Pregnant from a bar of soap??? Wtf?

My ex-husband's aunt was a nut, too. She refused to invite me to any family dinners after the first Thanksgiving. I hate yams. I really do. When she offered me some and I declined, she asked me why. I told her why, and she took it as a personal offense to her cooking. She held that grudge against me for nearly 3 years, and probably still does. She also took every possible opportunity to insult me in every way known to man, plus some new ways that pushed buttons I didn't know I had.