Ah, this is a question older than time... I had a little trouble with this one. So, instead of asking myself, I decided to take my question to the source himself... Mr. Woodchuck.
Chris: Hello, Mr. Woodchuck. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.
Mr. Woodchuck: It was my pleasure.
Chris: I'm just going to get straight to the point. The question has been raised, time and time, again, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Can you tell me, what is the REAL answer to this?
Mr. Woodchuck: Hmmm... The typical answer would be: A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could if a woodchuck could chuck wood! But that's just a cop out, if you ask me.
Chris: I do ask you.
Mr. Woodchuck: In all actuality, we woodchucks are commonly known as groundhogs. We burrow, or chuck, dirt. Not wood. Though we are known to climb, and sometimes chew on pieces of wood, we usually stay close to the ground. Especially on February 2nd.
Chris: That reminds me, how com...
Mr. Woodchuck: I really don't want to go into that, today.
Chris: Understood. Well, thanks for your time. This has been a big help.
Mr. Woodchuck: Not a problem. If you require actual numbers, here is a website that breaks it down: http://www.getodd.com/stuf/stupid/woodchuck.html Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my house. The wife wants to raid Mrs. Krenshaw's garden tonight.
Chris: By all means. Thanks, again. Well, there you have it. Straight from the Woodchuck (groundhog) himself.