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A story!!!

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1 A story!!! on 5/30/2009, 11:45 pm

topher_j

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aardvark addict
So, no one's been here in a while... This is sad. Lots of memberships, and no one's writing anything. I can take the blame, too. I have been lazy as of late, and I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to write something in this forum everyday, from now on. Even if it only says: "I have nothing really to talk about."

But I got an idea, here. I am going to start a chain story. I'll write something, and stop at some point. Maybe a sentence or two, and someone else must pick up where I left off. Please, don't be afraid to go crazy.

So, here we go.




Stu couldn't believe the bad luck he was having that day. Everything that could go wrong, did. It all started that morning, when his dryer caught on fire. He thought he had cleaned out the lint trap, before putting in a new load of clothes, and it turns out he did... But then he remembered something else...

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2 Re: A story!!! on 6/3/2009, 3:06 am

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
That damn cat was playing with its toys behind the dryer again, and it batted a little plastic ball--you know the type, the annoying cheap kind with the little bell inside--right into the heating element in the back of the dryer. WHOOSH! Up in flames. Fortunately, he was home when it caught fire. He got to the fire extinguisher in time to put out the blaze before any major damage was done, but unfortunately for Mister Jingles (that's the cat, you know), it was too late. As though a Kentucky Fried Cat wasn't enough, Stu's day got even worse...

I think it's great to make a commitment to the forum like that. I, too, shall make such a commitment and help set the example.

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3 Re: A story!!! on 6/4/2009, 1:01 am

M_R_Wiley

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junkie
After Stu had properly buried Mister Jingles, He went to his tool shed to put away the shovel he had needed to bury Mister Jingles. When all of a sudden out poped ...

(this should be fun)

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4 Re: A story!!! on 6/4/2009, 2:16 am

topher_j

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aardvark addict
...Stu's Uncle Skylar, who as Stu's horrible misfortune would have it, was sunbathing just on the other side of the tool shed... Nude... And he's like 85! pale "Stu, my boy," Uncle Skylar said, "what'cha doin with that there shovel?" "Uncle Skylar," said Stu, "one, please put some clothes on, and two, how did you get out of the nursing home again, and three, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!" If only the sight of Uncle Skylar's pruny old body wasn't enough, Stu's nosey neighbor, Mrs. Krenshaw was walking over with an envelope...

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5 Re: A story!!! on 6/4/2009, 9:04 am

M_R_Wiley

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junkie
Mrs. Kernshaw wasn't too surprised to see Stu's Uncle Skylar. For she knew the truth. Skylar was a ninja so for him to appear anywhere randomly was no surprise to her. Though like Stu she wished he would put some clothes on. "Stu, I have a letter here for you that the mailman left in my mailbox." she said as she handed him the envelope. Stu opened the envelope. Inside was a letter telling him he was to report for Jury Duty. And just when he thought his day couldn't get any worse Chuck Norris appeared and ...

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6 Re: A story!!! on 6/4/2009, 4:01 pm

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
Chuck Norris had come searching out Uncle Skylar, who was known within the circles to be the best non-Asian ninja in the world. "It's time, old man," Chuck Norris boomed, just before the other fist under his beard popped out and sucker-punched the old man. The epic ninja battle of all battles began right there in Stu's back yard! Stu and Mrs. Krenshaw watched on in horror as Uncle Skylar's naked flab fluttered in the breeze...

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7 Re: A story!!! on 6/5/2009, 1:04 am

topher_j

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aardvark addict
Uncle Skylar then delivered a clothesline to Chuck Norris, using said flab, which made a noise only comparable to that of a really fat guy doing a belly flop into a pool. Chuck Norris was stunned, but then retaliated with his patented move, the roundhouse kick, which is so famous, it was even the inspiration for the early 90's Nickelodeon show, "Roundhouse." But due to the network's view on non-violence, they changed the format right before the pilot was shot, to the strange musical comedy it disapointedly was (stay tuned for my post: "Nickelodeon: The Day The Slime Fountain Went Dry."). This particular roundhouse kick was so devastating, it shook the earth, and consequently, resurfaced the corpse of Mr. Jingles. It also dramatically increased the level of electromagnetic energy in the air, and Mr. Jingles was now a zombie. As Jingle-Stein (that's what he automatically got called as soon as he hit zombie mode) started lunging toward Chuck Norris, Stu had an amazing revelation...

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8 Re: A story!!! on 6/5/2009, 1:13 pm

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
Jingle-Stein would create a Chuck Norris zombie, which would in turn create more zombies, and then Stu could have a legion of zombies at his command. He watched in horror as his fantasy became reality, but as usual, the best-laid (or, in this case, made-up-on-the-fly) plans go astray. Stu was being chased down the street by Jingle-Stein, zombie!Norris, zombie!ninja, and zombie!Krenshaw (which was the most horrendous and bloodthirsty of the creatures, ironically). The monotonous and languid cries of, "Braaaaaaains..." was all that kept Stu running past the point of exhaustion...

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9 Re: A story!!! on 6/6/2009, 12:43 am

M_R_Wiley

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junkie
When out of the sky a chopper flew down close enough for Stu to get on when he heard a familar voice say "Get to the Chopper!!!" Stu jumped on as it flew on up when Stu realized there before him sat Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger. At that moment Arnold tossed Stu a Shotgun and then ...

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10 Re: A story!!! on 6/6/2009, 2:00 am

topher_j

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aardvark addict
It was time for a good ol' fashion massacre. Stu blew the faces off of Zombie Krenshaw, Zombie Ninja Skylar, And Zombie Chuck Norris... But Jingle Stein was relentless. He lept through the helicopter window, and bit Arlnold on the arm, and maintained a heavy grip. Arnold screamed the pattented "Ahnold" scream. "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!" He knew he was going to turn into a zombie. So he looked at Stu, and screamed, "Get Ouut!" Stu lept from the helicopter, onto a nearby roof. Arnold went full speed into a neighbors swimming pool, crashing the helicopter, and killing both himself, and Zombie Jingles (again) in a fiery explosion. It seemed that Stu's horrible day had come to an end... But sadly for Stu, that was just the beginning...

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11 Re: A story!!! on 6/7/2009, 12:32 am

M_R_Wiley

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junkie
Stu looked long into the fiery debris as he saw what he feared the most. Out walked a Humanoid Terminator as well as a Cat sized Terminator. "Oh great, well on the plus side at least I am not John Connor." As Stu had said that the voice of Arnold said "Who said John Connor? where is he?" Moments later Stu heard this buzzing sound in his ear, as he ...

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12 Re: A story!!! on 6/7/2009, 1:45 pm

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
...as he turned to see Optimus Prime transforming before his very eyes. "Are you Sam Witwicky?" the massive mecha hummed. Stu just stared up in slack-jawed terror and awe. "You do not look like Sam Witwicky, small human, but you need help. Do not worry, I will save you." Optimus glared (if Transformers could glare) at the Terminator and Jingles!Terminator. With a single, gliding pace, Optimus crushed the foes underfoot. Stu watched on, unbelieving, as Optimus Prime looked back to him. "Have a nice day," Optimus etched out in a routinely mechanical yet friendly way, just before he shot away from the scene. Stu thought his misery was finally over, until...

(Zombies, ninja, Chuck Norris, a helicopter crash, and robots. What else does this story need?! Very Happy )

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13 Re: A story!!! on 6/7/2009, 11:12 pm

M_R_Wiley

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junkie
Stu Looked around himself the world he had known falling apart right before his eyes. Even though Optimus was gone he still heard a loud buzzing noise almost like his alarm clock. At that moment Stu streched and the world faded to black as he woke up in his bed. There at the headboard of his bed was Mister Jingles pawing at Stu's hair. Stu blinked a bit thinking to himself "Was this all just a dream?"

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14 Re: A story!!! on 6/8/2009, 1:17 am

topher_j

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aardvark addict
He pet Mr. Jingles on his head, and said "wow, that was a crazy dream. To think you could ever become a zombie." He leaned off the bed, and picked up a toy ball on the floor, and said, "this should keep you occupied for a while." He threw it out the doorway of his bedroom, and it gently rolled into the utility room, right next to the dryer.

The End (don't you think so?) study

That was great, you guys!! Okay, someone start a new one... Maybe without zombies this time. Chuck Norris is fine.

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15 Re: A story!!! on 6/8/2009, 5:15 am

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
I was sad to see the final installment, but all great things must come to an end. -_-()

I have to try the cheesy shojo anime hook to start this next story...

Tara was just your typical high school student, until one day, when she met a boy with an unusual family secret...

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16 Re: A story!!! on 6/9/2009, 2:17 am

topher_j

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aardvark addict
This boy and his family, were part of a long line of mobsters from the future. And his dad had taken them back in time to kill Don Oregano, the guy who killed the boy's great grandfather. As hard as this was to believe, it got even stranger, when it was discovered that they were not just ordinary mobsters (from the future), but they were also travelling (not ordinarily time travelling) circus folk. Their trapeze act was known throughout the country as second to none. Yet they used this as a cover to keep their secret mob life from leaking out. The only reason this secret was so significant to Tara, was because...

Aww Snap! Yes, I went there. santa

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17 Re: A story!!! on 6/9/2009, 3:03 pm

therish

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Epic Win
Epic Win
The secret was significant to Tara, because her mother's father was the infamous mobster, Don Oregano! He was always such a kind and loving man--she never suspected that he was a mob don and that he had been a cold-blooded killer in his younger days! Tara knew she couldn't tell the boy this, because he and his father would surely kill her grandfather. Tara and the boy became good friends, but she always held this secret in her heart. It wasn't until the boy invited her to the circus that...

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